Let down your walls

I'm sitting here on a plane while the sunset races me home to Denver, listening to Rend sing the song "sing my soul" and reflecting on this past week. He begins the song with a prayer to say "Lord we open up our hearts to you, we let down our walls..." And that feels like the theme of this season that we are walking into. The song is super awesome and you should go listen to it on spotify if you're smart enough to know how that works (I'm not ha!) but it seems like The Lord is speaking into mine and Christians life "LET DOWN YOUR WALLS."

That's a scary place to be really. We all have a tendency to build walls don't we? When someone hurts us...when life is tough...when you're insecure and just feel raw emotionally. It's natural to try to "be tough" and "suck it up", right? Is this only me??? 

Oh man, I remember when I first got saved and I was just fresh out of drugs and all that the world was to me and I was just so free! I was free from sin but ALSO FREE FROM HURT. Dude, I've got baggage. My mom dumped me, other tough stuff, like not just consequences to sin but hurts that people had done to me. People that were supposed to love and protect me used me and trashed me and moved on without blinking. And it hurt. But all of sudden, there was JESUS!  And my soul was just free. Free from the need to get high or seek for fulfillment in emptiness, but also from the hurt, the anger, even from having any expectations on myself. I mean, Jesus loves me. I'm good! But after over a decade of walking with Jesus, there have been other hurts. Other people who've hurt me. This is like a super tiny example for sure but I remember this chick in our college group liked a guy that liked me (wow, so junior high already huh) and when I told him I wasn't interested in him as more than a friend, that girl, whom I had counted as a sweet friend, pounced on the opportunity to "console" him and the two of them spread so much junk about me (all untrue even) at our college group that I felt like I couldn't go in the room. I remember actually thinking "but were Christians! I didn't think people who loved Jesus would treat each other like that!!!" I was appalled to say the least. Jesus is sweet to work it all together for good because that led me to step outside of that group and into serving in the high school ministry where I met my hunk of a man and my life totally changed. And I know that's a super small trivial example but I tell the story to show you how naive and dumb I was. I thought since we were all Christians that we wouldn't hurt each other. Yeah, I know. I'm an idiot. But that was news to me. Slowly, as circumstances arose where people really hurt me, I think I've lost the wonder of those first months with Jesus. Im not talking about dumb rumors at college group but like the people you look up to and love, like really love, those are the ones to hurt you. They're the ones that betray you. Misunderstand your intentions. Doubt your heart. Bitterly gossip and ruin your reputation. Choose to look at your weaknesses and say your benefits don't outweigh the work it takes to be there for you. And they bail. Drop you smash you trash you.  I've had some of that in the last decade, and with each one I think I've added a brick to the wall around my heart. And each brick I have laid down, all I've wanted was to be good enough to not need to build walls of protection around myself. I'm like mad at the people who are making me cut myself off from them because all I ever wanted was to love them and be loved and be free! It's sounds way more dumb when I write it out. I hope you get what I'm saying.  My whole life before Jesus I had to perform. Maybe if I'm good enough my mom will want me and come back. Maybe if I do enough good the people I love will really love me...but they never did. But then JESUS! Ya know. Like it didn't matter! I didn't have to perform to be loved. I am already loved! But I have found this week that I have indeed walled myself up again in my heart. Like a lonely princess in a tower, I've been so lonely for real love again. And Jesus, my true Knight in shining armor, has come to rescue me yet again. He has come to rescue me from performance and expectations. He has been begging me for years really. (I hope I am really getting it this time.) People are people. Even the people in my life who are supposed to love me and protect me, even they WILL fail me. 

Is what Jesus did on the cross for me still enough to free me from my need to FEEL LOVED BY PEOPLE? 

It was enough to bring me absolute amazement over a decade ago...why hasn't it been enough after I said my prayer and embarked on this crazy awesome journey into His promises? Ready for even more honesty??? I think it's because I have, without realizing it, held that hurt up to my heart. Like dude I'm saved and seeking after God, why don't people like me? Yuck! That makes it all about ME!!! So with each wrong that someone has done, I have "forgiven" and I've picked up a brick. Brick by brick, I have created my own lonely place to dwell. Because life is messy. Ots inevitable. We all hurt each other. We all have wrong expectations. We all let each other down. This week, I ran a stop sign and drove down a one way street the wrong direction. And ya know what I wanted? 

GRACE for my stupidity! 

I was driving in Washjngton DC and I was just plain out of my comfort zone and I made a mistake. I want grace! We are all dumb and totally out of our comfort zones when it comes to dealing with people, right? RIGHT!?! Am I the only one who goes home wishing I had said something differently? Well, The Holy Spirit has really challenged me and I am so darn lonely that I'm finally ready I think to let Him deal with it. I was thinking about that high tower analogy again...Lord how do I tear it down? Tuesday night we didn't have a girls bible study in Galatians because I went to the east coast pastors wives retreat and that night God was rocking that place. The message was on the Holy Spirit and our absolute utter dependence on Him. It isn't enough to do the stuff we need to do. We MUST be MOVED by Him. And there was all kinds of gnarly cool stuff going on and it was just awesome. So there's this super huge move of the Spirit going on and I'm like Lord okay I confess that I have held my hurt to my chest. I still love these people but my heart hasn't let it go. I wanted an antiseptic life and I'm kinda mad that its messy. BUT I give up. Help. And as we sang this song in worship I watched the hurts of my life pass before my eyes. My mom placing me in a gutter to drive away...the rejection of my dad...the hurts from friends, pastors, leaders who I looked up to...they all passed before me and I felt lighter. They didn't bring tears to my eyes. I was FREE. The Holy Spirit, my dunamos, my dynamite had blasted down my protective tower (which had only made me lonely and not really protected anyway) and I was just FREE. 

The Holy Spirit has come up so much lately. The speaker laid out a crazy picture for me: "the average Christians relationship with the Holy Spirit is like that of a husband to his wife in a bad marriage. They abide under the same roof and he is happy to enjoy her services but there's no communication, no celebration of WHO she is."

OUCH right? How many of us treat the Holy Spirit like that? How many of us have told the Holy Spirit he can have visitation rights when He wants full custody? I KNOW I have been neglecting my relationship with Him. But man I am so over that! I want that dunamos back in my life! I want that dynamite power everyday. Even if I will get hurt. Even if I look stupid. Even if you read this and totally misunderstand my heart and intents. Even if you think I'm a nut. I want to move when He says move. Write when He says write. I want to be held in His loving embrace and just celebrate Him!  I'm going to make mistakes, I'm going to spiritually go the wrong way down the street but hey at least I didn't stay home! That trip to DC was crazy and last minute and probably the only time I will ever get to see the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington monument and all of that. It would have been safer to stay home. And I DID mess up. But I got to see the nation's Capitol. I took pictures of things straight out of movies my kids love! I'm like a superhero to them at this point. And it was beautiful. Safety might be clean, but messiness can produce SUCH BEAUTY. 

So if you're like me, if you've felt lonely and just not known why, dude pray it up! Ask Him. He will show you what to confess. And ask Him to baptize you in His Spirit or fill you afresh and He will blast away those walls. It should be scary to be without walls. I DO know I'll get hurt. But without being open I will never know GODS love fully. He has made us to live with each other and with Him in community. Oh I think I'm rambling now.  Hopefully you get what I'm saying. 

Next week we will start back up and do Galatians chapter two so that will be rad. Thanks for putting up with my confusing stuff. I can't wait to see how He crashes into more of my junk and does some cool stuff. Ill keep you posted. 

What's your story?

Is this really April?  The snow is swirling around my house and we watched White Christmas one more time before we have to say goodbye to winter for reals.  I actually don't mind the snow, and I felt like winter had gone by too fast when we started heated up a few weeks ago so this is pretty cool.  Coffee, swirling snow, a podcast, fresh cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven.  Good times people.

So last night was our second time meeting to get into the meat of Galatians and I am having such a crazy awesome convicting encouraging time!  It has really been so so great for me.  Last night we went over Galatians 1:11-24.  The background here is that there were dorks who had come in trying to say that yes Jesus is fine to start with, but now you have to work to keep yourself saved.  These dudes were trying to gain favor with the people by discrediting Paul's apostleship and by discrediting the gospel Paul preached.  The second half of chapter one is Paul defending his call to apostleship.  He basically gives a quick version of his testimony, his life before and after, the transformation, in order to show that the mean guys were wrong.
 And as I was praying with a friend over it, I felt like Jesus wanted us to spend the evening reflecting on and sharing each of our stories with each other, our testimonies, our call from Jesus.  I was so blessed by the sweet time last night!  There was openness and vulnerability and love and it was just so faith building.  So, share with me your story, your call.  I really do want to hear it!  Sometimes I dream about asking everyone I know to type out their testimony and email it to me so I can print it and keep it in a book forever to read and reread because it is just so encouraging to know the power of God and how it has worked in peoples lives. Or you could reflect on it right where you're at.  In the midst of our busyness we can totally forget how crazy awesome it is that we were once part of the kingdom of darkness but now we have been called out by His glorious light!  At least for me its easy to forget.  It was so awesome to REMEMBER what great and awesome things Jesus has done for me and hear what great and awesome things Jesus has done in the lives of my friends.  I felt like our friendships were built up and our faith was built up.  SO, all of that to say....please chill for a second and reflect on His transformative work, His saving power, His saving and call on your life.  It's beautiful.  And then share it with someone.  Post a comment if you want to (I heart comments :)) or please share it with someone.  Go to coffee if you have time for something like that.  Message somebody at least, please!  It was such a neat and sweet experience I just want all of you to go and experience it too!  Sorry, I think I am being bossy today :)  I was just so blessed, ya know? :)

As far as an update on us, we are having a blast.  Okay we are actually kind of getting our faces ripped off, but it's been WAY GOOD.  Last week, the Lord really revealed His heart to us in the book of Joshua, when they had crossed over the Jordan and the people of the land were like dude these guys are gnarly, run!  It was there, before Jericho, before they ever stepped into battle that the Lord said stop.  Stop the momentum.  Stop and be circumcised.  Kinda a gross thought in our culture, but it was a way that they had not been obedient and the Lord needed that dealt with.  I feel like we as a tiny church are experiencing that right now.  As a body of believers, I feel like we are standing on the edge of something absolutely mind blowing, but He has said to us stop, let me cut away your junk before you go in.  Cause He loves us too much to let us walk into this battle unprepared.  He loves us too much to let us walk around carrying our junk with us. (not stop church, but I think you get what I mean...like wait on the Holy Spirit for any forward momentum.)  So, if you're praying for us, for the Road, then please pray for that.  That we would be totally submitted to Jesus and let Him work out of us the junk that we have.  Cause we do have junk ( am I the only one?) and we DO want it gone :)  Thanks guys you so ROCK!

What exactly is the gospel?

So tonight we are going to dive into Galatians chapter 1, and I am just so excited!  I can't wait to see what Jesus is showing you guys and what He has shown me.  I am like super blown away for sure.

So go read Galatians 1:1-10 :)

The reason I wanted to get into this is because there's so much to be gleaned here from this awesome little book that goes deeper into our hearts than we are sometimes comfortable with.  This will totally NOT be an exhaustive Bible study.  You ladies are hopefully getting that on Sunday mornings from your pastor.  My goal here is to grow, discipleship style.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not trying to disciple you.  Dude, I do NOT want replicas of me floating around!  I am scary!  Ask my hubs.  No really.  But in all seriousness, I see this blog post, this Tuesday night study, to be a time to be discipled by Jesus.  He promised us that He would leave behind the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth.  SO lets be unified together and dependent on the Spirit and gain some truth about Him from Him so we can glorify Him.  All of that to say, please be nice to me. :)  I will make mistakes and leave things out and do a ton of dumb stuff.  I am super good at being a dork. But here goes....

Okay, I totally know that most of you guys know this info, but bear with me.  Paul is writing the Galatians here because there was trouble big time going on in their town.  Paul had preached to them the plain and simple beautiful gospel, and there were Judaizers (Jewish believers in Christ who taught some gnarly stuff) that had come in and tried to change things.  Paul is straight up MAD in this letter.  His other letters to other churches begin by thanking God for them and then praying for them.  Paul doesnt do that here cause he is just plain angry.  He jumps straight into the crux of the matter, in verse 6

"I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to another gospel..."

The words turning away in the greek are one word and have the idea of a military man deserting his nation....it's a transfer of one's allegiance...to be a spiritual "turn coat."  YIKES!  What a crazy pcture right?  Well Paul isn't sugarcoating it here for sure.

So what were they turning their backs on?  What had they embraced?

The Gospel
Paul says they had turned away from from Jesus, from what he describes in verse 3-4...
"Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father..."
The Gospel is the Good News: 1.  We are really really bad.  Apart from anything we try to do to the contrary, we are worse than we can ever even imagine ourselves to be.  2.  We are really really loved.  Apart from our own efforts or mistakes, we are loved more deeply and fully than we could ever know on this earth.
So the gospel says that Jesus lived a perfect life so He could trade us out for our crazy messed up one AND that He died an atoning death because we owe a debt that we can't pay (Romans tells us the wages of our sin is debt) and that NOW because of the cross we are
forgiven
cleansed
accepted and
adored.
It is by GRACE (undeserved and not a thing I can do to earn it) and through FAITH (I choose to put the full weight of my trust in His work) that I come to make this transaction.  It requires repentance but is totally outside of my works.  Thats the plain and simple gospel.

Religion is mans attempt to be right with a Holy God.  The Gospel is the work that has already been done for us on the cross.

So whats the big deal right?  Well, the Judaizers had come in and in effect told the Galatian believers, "That's nice and all.  Yes, you need the Gospel for salvation...but now you need to start behaving and performing WELL."  They in that context wanted the believers in Jesus to follow the Jewish law, specifically Paul brings up circumcision.  Our context would definitely be different, but the concept is the same.  And since Scripture gets all gnarly upset about it, I think its worth paying attention to, don't you?

We are totally going to get into the nitty gritty over the next few weeks for SURE, but for tonight, I want us to examine our hearts.  Have we, as believers, leaned upon the gospel, the work of the cross, the Good News that I am incredibly loved and accepted, for our salvation?  Dude, thats number one for sure!!!!!   Do it!  That's way the main point.

But I think so many of us have fallen into the trap of "I need Jesus to save me from my drug and alcohol and sex addictions.  oh now I am saved, I better dress right, act right, do right....and I sure better not smoke cigarettes!"  But Jesus didn't die on the cross to rid the world of tobacco and spaghetti straps!!!!!!  Right!?!  Jesus died on the cross to forgive us of our sins and make us right with Him.  The semantics of the rest of our everyday life dont have to be so complicated.  I need to tear down the junk in my heart that says if I'm a "good" Christian I will BLAH BLAH BLAH and if I am a "bad" Christian I will BLAH BLAH BLAH.  Thats all DUMB.  There is no such thing as a bad christian or a good christian.  I think most of us would intellectually admit that.  But I KNOW that my heart and my actions have lined up instead with good/bad christian standards.  But Jesus is the standard.  Dude, I can be so dumb.

I want all of us to look at our hearts.  I am looking at my heart.  I know I have spent way too much time trying to do better, be better.  I mean, it's a natural thing right?  But I am supposed to be living supernaturally, right?  The Bible does lay out some clear stuff. And we want to go above and beyond, in our flesh.  Well, at least above and beyond the person next to me right?  See that's one of the main downfalls of a performance based relationship with Jesus.  It then leads us to have a wrong relationship with the people around us, right?  We either think too highly of ourselves (Im so great I would never even think of watching that movie wearing that bathing suit blah blah BLAH) or we think too low of ourselves (I am never going to be able to measure up, read my Bible enough, stop doing whatever it is I am struggling with) and in turn become desperate to win the approval of PEOPLE.  Instead we have a crazy amount of love and acceptance and humility waiting in the hands of Jesus.  We don't have to fall into this trap.  I was super challenged by a podcast recently that said you'll know how much you are applying the gospel to your every day life by the quality of your relationships with the people around you.  YIKES!  Does it bother me when I am treated poorly?  Does it bother me if someone else gets the credit?  Do I want people to give me my proper respect?  YUCKO to write it out like that right?  But if I am daily applying the gospel to my life, then I will feel pity for the person who has wronged me and a desire to pray for them....it won't matter who gets the credit....I will already know that I deserve no respect and that all glory goes to GOD!

Now, we will get into the difference between legalism and discipline and all that jazz later.  I promise.  For tonight, lets just spend some time examining our hearts.  I KNOW I will be! And theres SO MUCH MORE IN THIS SECTION.  I have like ten pages of notes going on over here....but I want to here YOUR hearts guys!  Hook a sister up with your beautiful hearts for Jesus.  What stands out to you?  I would LOVE to hear what The Spirit is speaking to YOU!

Come hang out with me while we dig into Galatians!

Okay so when I began this blog, I promised some craftiness, sewing, baking and such.  Sorry about that.  I really just have not had the time or energy to put into that area of my life lately.  I even (gasp) bought cookies for the church Easter BBQ!  It's way funny because I totally would have died in my prideful little heart a year ago admitting that.  Cookies and sewing are on hold currently.  Homeschooling two grades takes up more time than you think.  And being sick does too.  Boo on being sick!  Silly body.  Anyway, so I have been pouring my two mites into the kids and my house and my hubs and loving these sweet people we have come to know because of this adventure.  It's been a neat transition for me to be able to let my house be less than perfect because my 6 year old needs help designing a Lego police station or because my heart is burdened to pray for someone.  Totally not boasting here, I am just saying its been crazy to really lay hold of the unseen beauty of a moment.  What matters more? My house being perfect?( Well bummer, cause even when I try it isn't what I want it to be.)  Or is it the unseen memories made with my kids or spent caring for someones soul?  I am blown away by all of the time I have wasted...

So, this will be another post without any thread or icing bags.  But it comes with an invitation (does that make it better?)

Tonight, some ladies and I will begin to dig into the book of Galatians.

What does it mean to be free?  What are we freed from?  What are we freed TO?  What exactly is the biblical definition of legalism?  What does it look like compared to discipline?  Are WE, in our hearts, clinging to Christ's work on the cross or deserting it in favor of a works based performance based religion?  If I want to avoid legalism, does that mean I don't have to do anything the Bible says?

I want to dive into what the Bible has to say on these subjects.  I believe that these concepts are being misunderstood all over the place.  Dude, I KNOW I have been struggling to understand it.  But I also believe that Jesus has given us His word AND HIS HOLY SPIRIT to help us to understand it all.  So we are going to dig in.  Tuesday nights will be discussion based, Holy Spirit dependent times to try to seek God's heart on all of this.

Want to join us?

There are so many wonderful ladies that I can think of who I know can't come because of distance or because of circumstances, but I was really hoping we could have a cyberspace fellowship, if that even makes any sense at all.  Here's what I am thinking: I will post my notes from the week and keep it short and then you guys hook me up in the comment area with your thoughts.  Try to keep it encouraging and edifying, and don't lets make a big deal about my grammar okay ha! but seriously I feel like it would be so absolutely awesome if we could learn from each other and really "get" what Jesus is wanting to speak to our culture, in Denver, Texas, California, Wisconsin, wherever!

Anybody in?  Leave me a comment in the comment section here on the blog not on facebook if you can.  It's easier for me to see and respond to.  Plus then we can all catch up on each other that way :)  I think theres a way to sign up to follow a blog (Im so technology impaired) but I will also share each post on facebook too.  I am getting kind of excited here!  Extra time with Jesus and other awesome ladies that I can go to even if I have a sinus infection and two ear infections!?!  Woop Woop!

p.s. we just celebrated our TEN YEAR anniversary last friday.  Crazy to me that it has been an entire decade!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a pic from our trip up to Boulder for the day to celebrate...

Happy Tuesday everybody!

I feel a rant coming on....

And I have a fever so this could be a foggy confused rant.  Stick with me.

We just read the story of the Good Samaritan this week in the One Year Bible reading and it so fits what has been rolling around in my heart for weeks really.  You see, I've been challenged (I know I know I've pointed that out before) in every area of what we do and why we do it..not just "ministry" but like the every day stuff.  And I keep coming across stuff that needs thinking through.  And even though I may be just writing this into cyberspace for no one to read, this is where I am trying to think things out.

This latest challenge has been living in community.  To live in community is a major buzz word/phrase in Christian circles these days.  From what I have seen, every church has a different interpretation of this seemingly simple vocabulary word.
 Some churches embrace it with an incredible fervor and seem to cancel all Bibles studies always and just meet to hang out with each other and talk.
Some churches are so scared to become the churches that forsake Bible studies that they steer WAY clear of it and pretend that only people who want to use liberty as a vice are interested in living in community, so dont bug me about a home group cause I dont do home groups settings.
Some churches are so into reaching out to the community around you that you can feel guilty if you sit next to a friend for services or meet up with a friend for coffee instead of spending all your time reaching out to the lost.

And then some really beautiful churches have a sweet grasp of the concept and spend time getting into the meat of the word and growing in their knowledge of His character while being sure to never neglect that Jesus made us for relationship and we will grow and be bolstered in our faith and our growth as we live life together.  These same churches have an emphasis on reaching out to the lost but also on growing friendships within the church body that will keep you fired up, accountable, and growing.

As we have stepped outside of things and been kind of "on our own" for the past 7 months, it has afforded us an outsiders view and I am so very thankful to have been given it.  The first thing I want to say is that we have spent the last seven months figuring out that we don't know a SINGLE thing.  Everything we thought we knew, yeah, we don't.  I mean, we're saved.  Barely ha! But seriously apart from the finished work of Jesus Christ, I am sure of nothing.  Well, nothing in ministry anyway.  What is ministry anyway?  That's my whole deal with the Good Samaritan.  Go read the story.  It's nutty to me that the supposedly "holy" people passed this bro by!  And mostly because touching him would have kept them from being able to do the things that they considered to be "holy" work.  LAME SAUCE!!!!!!  Which one of these dudes "lived in community" with that broken beat up man?  A Samaritan.  Which is nutty in and of itself really, but lets skip that part for a second.  Let's focus on the fact that this Samaritan walking down the road was not considered "holy" and wouldn't have been looked at twice by the hypocrites down at the temple....BUT HE DID THE MOST SWEET SERVICE TO THIS MAN!  He gave of his time and his money and was committed to checking back on this bro until he was better.  There was a commitment involved!  Community involves commitment!!!!!!!When we truly live in a community with one another, like a family, there is relationship, and there is love, and sometimes it gets messy and we treat each other like dirt but we are committed to one another.  We don't give up on each other just because we are wronged or it is hard.  We talk through things that could cause division and we FIGHT for and purposefully PURSUE unity because it won't just happen.  I feel like thats what Jesus was saying in this story.  We aren't each others neighbor if we are running off to do the jobs that we think are the holy jobs!  I know this awesome couple and most of the christian world might not think much of what they do.  They aren't "in the ministry."  He is a truck driver, not a pastor.  But dude! It totally irks me to no end that someone could look at being behind a pulpit as more holy than a bro driving his truck for Jesus.  I mean, people are getting to hear the gospel in truck stops from a guy whose joy for Jesus is just plain evident from the moment you meet him.  And people are getting SAVED!  Like, in truck stops!  And because this guy isn't a "pastor" of a certain church, he is just sharing the plain truth from the word without any agenda or doctrinal immediacies lined in there.  Jesus.  The word.  The END.  And I think its beautiful.  His wife may not be a "pastors wife" in title, but man she girds up her hubs.  She prays for him and for all the leaders in her church on a regular basis from a heart that goes so much deeper than please bless this and take care of that help this person to get a job.....like fervent BEAUTIFUL prayers flow from this woman.  Man!  That is the stuff of the Holy of Holies right there!

And yet we as a culture have this tendency to make classes of christians.  1st class 2nd class. To see the pastors and staff at a church as a holy and high calling and we demean those who aren't.  It's created this culture of christians that feels like hey if I am super amped on Jesus then I need to A. be a pastor; B. be a youth pastor; or C. lead the worship band.  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes those things are good things.  If you're called to do those specific things I am not even trying to demean you.  But if you're called to be a stay at home homeschool mom....you're called to the ministry.  If you're called to work at the bank.....you're called to the ministry!  If you're called to drive a truck full of gas over the Rocky Mountains, YOU ARE CALLED TO THE MINISTRY.  Whatever you are doing for Jesus IS a holy calling!

As I have been thinking about this and talking with Christian and listening to things, I had one of those aha moments.  Two main problems happen that I see (at this point anyway) (and who am I really ha!) Number one, we demean those who aren't as "holy" AND/OR we despise the day of small things because its not the "big" work that we think we should be doing for Jesus.  NO WAY!  If we tell ourselves that working at a coffee shop or a grocery store or staying home with our kids is small stuff, we are telling others that their stuff is small stuff.  And if we are all thinking its small stuff, we wont put ourselves into it with abandon.  We just won't.  So we begin to neglect the gifts within us while we wait to either feel holy enough to use them or be in a holy enough position to use them. BOO on that.  A healthy church body is one where people are all using their gifts and no one cares who gets the credit and every one is just rocking it for Jesus.  At least i think thats a healthy church body.  That would probably be hard to come by.
The second problem I see is that in creating these classes of christians and these classes of holiness in callings, we have effectually placed our pastors inside of these ivory towers.  They feel so much pressure to perform and be as holy as everyone thinks they are and theres no place to just be a part of the body.  And how can a "pastor" stay healthy when he is cut off???  Like really think about it. How can a pastor be ministered to if he cant be a real human with real struggles?  I think some churches allow their pastors to have an occasional struggle with something small.  Like not taking enough time to rest or maybe occasionally getting frustrated with his kids.  But are we elevating our pastors to such a high degree that they cant say hey my marriage is struggling, or I'm fighting some real bitterness toward this guy.  Can a pastor do that and not lose the respect of his congregation?  Because these ivory towers that we place pastors in leave them lonely and isolated and cut off from being ministered to by the body and so it can lead to disaster.  Sorry.  that is a side rant.

But back to my main point....how do we live in community?  By getting over ourselves.  By being committed to each others well being.  By setting aside titles and aspirations and saying every single morning Jesus what do you have for me today?  By setting aside anything i have said that doesn't resonate with the heart of Jesus.  Basically, I am learning that there is such beauty in being completely behind the scenes.  I feel like I did in high school.  I tried out for the school musical.  I know.  I had a drama geek phase.  Sue me.  Anyway, I could dance, but sing, not so much.  Sooooooo, they put me on crew.  AKA, your singing stinks so bad, please dress in black and stay back there.  If you come out, be quiet, and be as invisible as possible.  But ya know what I learned.  It was a blast.  I knew I couldn't sing. I tried out cause all my friends were trying out (and yes, if they ended the day bridge jumping I probably would've gone too) but it wasn't a bummer.  I had so much fun.  I was part of the team.  Without me, the chick in her cute curls and heels would've looked ridiculous moving an entire set.  We each had our jobs and we all had a blast seeing it get done.  Thats what I think Jesus is teaching us right now.  Be a good neighbor, however that looks.  Im learning to strip aside the titles and expectations others have on me and the expectations that I have on them.  And I kind of love being on crew for Jesus.

P.s. I think spring is finally here!  And just so you know, you CAN get a sunburn in 50 degree weather if you live at high elevation...theres going to be a sunscreen learning curve around here :)