Thursday, August 6, 2015

Chasing After Joy

I've been thinking a lot about life these days. Like, mine specifically. What is the point, ya know. Like the age old question. Now don't get me wrong, I know that ultimately my purpose is to bring joy to the heart of my Father in heaven and to walk closer and closer to Him every day until the beautiful day that He calls me home to see His amazing face in true paradise. Also, I know that my main purpose is to love and encourage my hubs as he battles to provide for us spiritually and physically and make our home one that he wants to come home to, that feels like a refuge from the harsh world around us. And I have purpose as a mommy to my wonderful beautiful babies, to love and train and enjoy them. And truly that is more than enough. So that's the place I keep coming back to. My purpose is beautiful. 

But I also know that each season in our lives comes along with its own set of purpose. There was a season where my life was consumed by love for the high school girls of Calvary Vista. My heart ached with and for them. My heart soared with joy at their triumphs and victories. It was beautiful. There was a season where my heart felt so deeply the many needs of the people in Paris. Those sweet girls in the college group that filled my life with joy. The amazing women that I grew alongside of in mommy groups or women's ministry. The sweet season in Colorado had it's own unique purpose, a lot of which was ministering to those on the outskirts, the cast offs. It was also beautiful. 

So what about now? 

I keep asking Jesus, what about now. And He has been speaking to me such a sweet, seemingly never ending answer: joy. 

My purpose in this season is to learn to enjoy all of His beauty. Will there be battles coming soon? Yes. I absolutely believe there is rapidly coming a season of battle (and triumph too). Will there be more trials? Of course, even though I feel like I've had enough for a while.  I can feel all of the reality of what it means to walk through this beautiful dance of a life as a daughter of my King Jesus, the good and the awful. But it just feels sort of out of focus. I know that will all be there, and soon, but for now I feel like Jesus just wants me to learn how to bask in the beauty of all that He is. I'm not sure I'm making sense, but the image that I have in my heart everytime I pray about it is one of a small child chasing after the bubbles blown by her father into the wind. 

How many of us have at least watched this, if not been the one to blow the bubbles? I cannot count the hours that I spent over my kid's lives blowing bubble after bubble and watching them run after each one, chasing them as far as they could until the bubble popped or was too high out of reach even after their valiant attempts at jumping. 

And when the bubbles were gone, they were ready to chase more. Why???  Did they get something from the bubble?  Was there anything tangible in the bubble as they touched the rainbow surface? 

Or was it just the joy of running, hopping, chasing after the beauty orb dancing on the wind?

The purpose was simply just to chase after and touch the joy and then chase some more. 

And THAT is what I feel like this season is for. This is my season to learn how to chase after the beauty bubbles and feel the breeze lift my hair as I float along on His grace. And there is no "purpose" to the bubbles. The purpose is just to enjoy the dance, the chase. 

And the purpose is to learn to not sit and wait for the perfect bubble to form before going after it. 

Abigail and I have been talking about this thought image as it's been forming in my brain the last couple of weeks and we decided that we spend way too much time waiting for the right bubble to come along to join in the chase after beauty.  What if that small child in my image in my mind waited for a certain sized bubble? A certain direction for the bubble to float?  How silly would that look???

No. The child just chases after what she can grab and giggles and loves the life that she has experienced as she skipped along. 

So Abigail and I have decided that we want to chase after ALL of the bubbles in life. 

There is a bubble blessing to catch at the beach as we watch the ocean swell with a wave and crash with power onto the shore. There is a blessing bubble to catch when we swing with a friend on the playground or drink coffee with someone we love. 

But there are also blessing bubbles as we fold laundry if we will chase after it

The "chasing" after this elusive bubble is the perspective, the remembering. We can remember that we have a family to fold clothes for, that this t shirt will cover the torso of the man that loves us and works so hard and still comes home and takes us to the beach or the pool or plays cards with us over dinner. There is a blessing bubble in cleaning the bathroom or grocery shopping or anything we are doing because it is in those everyday moments that we can get to know each other better, hear each other's hearts about the "little stuff." Or it's a bubble because it is a chance to pray. Isn't prayer a beautiful enough bubble to chase after, even if we are praying because we are cleaning a toilet and have nothing better to think about. We just might have to chase harder to catch those. But they are there. Waiting for us to catch. 

I've been called out by Jesus to join in the blessing bubble chase and learn how to really experience His joy. Abigail has decided to join me in the chase after this beauty. 

Will you join me, too?  

Will you, too, commit to making the choice to chase after every blessing bubble that our Father chooses to blow into the wind of our lives? To find the beauty and enjoy the simple purpose of running after His joy?  Not because we have to run to find it, but because the joy is often found in the chase, in exercising atrophied legs, in burning lungs that have been aching to breathe deeply of the air instead of sleepily, lazily watching the bubbles to float by. I have to say, I am enjoying the laughter and the splendor of the pursuit of each bubble He sends my way. Even the bubble of surgeries. Even the bubble of moving away from people I love. Even the difficult bubbles. They have beauty. And it is so satisfying to my soul in the deepest places to know that every bubble my Father breathes into the wind is worth chasing. Come join the chase with me. 



Ps it was so sweet last weekend, as these thoughts have been rolling around in my mind, to blow bubbles for the kids at the birthday party I was at. Such a confirming picture of all of my muddled hazy thoughts.