Feeling weary anyone?

So it's been a little while since my last post...to be real with you, I just haven't had anything I felt excited about writing. I've been in a bit of a spiritual slump I guess. Things have been busy. Christian is working A LOT (and I've had grocery money because of it so I ain't complainin'). The kids are on their 121st day of school (enter monotonous tone here). We have a lot of time that we spend doing stuff with the body here (all good stuff just busy).  Things have been moving a mile a second and yet it feels like I'm standing still ya know. Anyone out there feelin' what I'm saying?  And then at a prayer meeting I was praying (duh...that was kinda obvious huh haha) and I asked Jesus to help us not to grow weary in well doing like Galatians 6:9 says. I think it's been the general feeling right now around here in Denver as a whole. A discouragement that has no real basis, a vague feeling of discontentment that when battled through has no real place. A weariness. Any one out there ever feel WEARY? Not like the good kind of I got all my list done for the day kind of tired but the man is tomorrow gonna be the same as today was weary? ANYONE? Please hook a sister up with some encouragement and tell me I'm not the only one!

Well so as I'm praying help us not to grow weary, Jesus just totally rocked me with this crazy thought: Why in the world would I be weary?????????  What is so wearisome about Jesus who died on the cross and rose again conquering and utterly SQUISHING sin, death, and the devil? What is wearisome about a Jesus who doesn't leave it there? What is wearisome about the fact that my Jesus didn't provide atonement for sin and then hand me a list of requirements for a fun life? But instead Jesus saved me from my sins and keeps saving me from my nasty sinful self every single stinking day! Cause I need it every single stinking day!  He didn't leave me to figure out how to be holy....He has provided my holiness through His blood!  What in the world is wearisome about that!?!?!  I was at a prayer and worship night at a friends house (aka battle field) and I was just weighed down and was NOT feelin the joy. I sat in a corner worshipping Jesus but feeling yuck. And I could just feel that my lack of joy, my sitting off to the side (and pouting, lets be honest here) was like actually pleasing to the enemy. He can't drag me to hell anymore cause Jesus kicked his booty but he loves to see me weak and weary. So I stood up walked over to the middle of the group of people worshipping and told Jesus I CHOOSE JOY. Not like hey I'm gonna conjure up some bubbly cheesy happiness but I choose the joy you bought for me. I'm going to put it on like cute new dress my daddy bought me last summer. Cause it's like that dress. I look good with it on (ha!) and it makes my heart happy. And GUESS WHAT!?! JESUS' WORD IS TRUE! (Big fat duh moment right, but sometimes I forget that it's true)  he really did trade me out! He gave me the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. The oil of joy for mourning (my heart has been grieving over a kinda sad family thing). He lifted the weariness! Not because I earned it by standing up and pressing in. But because His word said so. Ill figure out the details on the other side of heaven. For now the truth is enough to rock me even without the explanation. 

So for those of you who have ever felt they were growing weary in the midst of the daily stuff. Another day...another load of laundry...another three meals made...another day of cleaning my blessing of a house...another day of wiping kids noses and cleaning scrapes and kissing bruised arms and hearts...another day praying for my family, for my nation, for north metro Denver...for whatever the daily stuff brings you...
DON'T GROW WEARY IN WELL DOING, for in due season you shall reap a reward if you do not lose heart...
But also because DUDE! Our God is exciting! And His grace and mercy is for every single day. It's new every day. It's applicable every day! I just want so badly to live in the reality of that truth cause I think that would draw more people to Jesus than anything else I try to do. Pray for me for that okay!? Pray that I would live in the reality that my God is never wearisome to talk about, live alongside, follow, and love. HE IS SO EXCITING and I don't want the every day stuff to rob me of that excitement! I want the every day stuff to be a chance to spread the excitement!

Stir it up!

Just a quick little post from sunny Denver...it was 74 today!  There were just enough clouds in the sky to make you hopeful that today might be the day that He comes back....just enough sun to make you want to soak it up with bare arms after months of freezing temps...just enough school and chores to feel productive...and not quite enough but still sweet time with awesome people and their kiddos!  Ahhhh...I have a feeling spring is going to be a beautiful season here in Denver.

I love how even though our life is super full at the moment, it is still so sweet.  Jesus just hooked up the joy today!  It's funny how as the kids get older a part of me misses the little baby stages...but another part of me is having SO MUCH FUN!  They are older and just plain fun.  Abigail and I listened to a podcast today while making snicker doodles (Abigail's request) and Seth played out in the back yard desperately waiting for them to be done and reinventing his "obstacle course" over and over.  Too cool.  This life rocks!

But here's what I was really going to say (this quick post is gonna get long if I don't get to it huh!?!)  Tonight we are having soup for dinner.  Inexpensive, healthy, easy, lasts two nights...it's a score all around.  So tonight, as I was about to serve myself a bowl full of chicken and veggies, I almost forgot to stir it up!  My bowl was almost all celery and carrots and no chicken and potatoes!  Not a tasty way to eat soup right!?  If you don't stir it up, you miss out on the stuff that settles...usually the good stuff like meat. ( I am such carnivore.)

Well, the Lord gently reminded me of something found in a few different places in the Word.  Stir it up baby!

2 peter 1:12-14 is awesome, but vs13 is the one that came to mind...
"Yes, I think it is right, as long as I am in this tent, to stir you up by reminding you..."

Our minds are just like this my soup!  Well, sorta.  Here's what I mean.  We take a lot of info into our brains.  There are so many facts and memories and moments floating through our brains everyday and we just plain can't remember it all.  It's funny...the memories that are the clearest from when the kids were babies( and I was a zombie) are the ones that I scrapbooked.  I think its because I would look back through the scrapbook on occasion and it just stirred up my memories.  The Lord was like hey that's one of the reasons you're supposed to read your Bible every day!  Cause you FORGET!  Am I the only one who does this? Let's be honest here....  So I need to be reminded!  That's one of the reasons I read my Bible, listen to podcasts, share with my kids the things God is sharing with me, and hang out with other believers that I know will remind and challenge me.  Cause I am forgetful and He doesn't want all that good stuff to settle to the bottom.

The other verse that came to mind as I was stirring up my soup was 2 Timothy 1:6
"...stir up the gift of God which is in you..."

Oh man this one is a little harder for me right now.  As I read this, it super challenged me!!!  We know from God's Word that He has given all of us gifts.  Some of us know and use those gifts.  Some of us (okay, ME) know the gifts and are afraid to step out....afraid to be used...afraid to look like a fool.  So we (I) let these gifts that He has given settle down to the bottom of our spiritual crock pot and happily scoop from the top (am I taking the soup analogy too far here?)

Have you ever given someone a gift, one you were really excited about because you had put so much thought into it and you knew it was just perfect for them?  Have you ever found that gift on the floor of their closet, unused...sometimes even unopened?  I cannot even imagine the heart of my Father in heaven right now.....dude, Ive got some searching to do in my heart for sure.  Pray for me in that okay? But here's the cool part...I think Jesus is just too gracious to let the gifts settle down to the bottom of the crock pot!  I feel like sometimes He allows the stormy seasons in life to be the spoon that stirs up His gifts.  I believe He allows that yucky boss or that crazy toddler or newborn or that move across the United States of America to stir up the gift of God which is in us.  The challenge for me?  Will I let Him stir me up?  Or will I whine and complain because things feel a bit agitated?  Oh how I wish I had the eyes of Jesus so that I could see my life the way He sees it...so that I could see that the stirring up is truly a gracious and beautiful thing.

Is it a small thing?

Today was just one of those awesome days.  Thank you to all of you awesome sweet prayer warriors that lift up our family.  You guys are the bomb dot com!

So it started this morning as I read my Bible....there was so much GOOD STUFF in there today!  I was all tripping out about the veil today.  The veil was ripped from top to bottom...only Jesus could rock that!!!  Oh man, I can't even tell you how excited I am to celebrate Easter this year!  Woop woop!

But as I went through the day, Numbers 16:9 kept coming to mind.  Now I will warn you that I am not an expert on the book of Numbers, but here is how it struck me today.  See there were some of the sons of Levi who had jobs in the tabernacle but they were getting all squirrely with Moses and Aaron and complaining and basically saying hey you're not the only ones that are holy....let us do that stuff too.  Dude, Moses was all super grieving and God worked out the details but what struck me today was verse 9
...."Is it a small thing to you that the God of Israel has separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to Himself, to do the work of the tabernacle of the Lord, to stand before the congregation to serve them..."
Basically they weren't content to keep doing what they saw as small work and they were wishing they could be doing something that seemed to matter, that people would notice.  Aren't we all like that???? Okay, maybe it's just me, but there are times that what I am doing seems so insignificant.  Especially things like laundry and meal preparation and bathroom cleaning and dusting and Lego building and American girl hair styling....things that most people don't notice (unless it isn't done and they have no underwear) things that no one pats you on the back for.  The things that seem monotonous. And honestly some days I just wish I could be doing something that seems to matter.  But the Lord so spoke to my heart here in this...
"Is it a small thing to you..." that I have given you a husband to care for and wash his clothes and make his home welcoming?
"Is it a small thing to you..." that I have given you two sweet kiddos that love it when you skip count to the tune of "Hey Macarena!" (and even do the moves)?
"Is it a small thing to you..." that I have given you a home to open up and invite your neighbors into?  And so so much more.  God was really rocking my heart here.  Nothing that God has given me to do today is a small thing.  This crazy changed my day.  Dude, all day today, the menial tasks have come alive.

We giggled through Phonics.  GIGGLED!!!!  Who giggles during PHONICS!?!  My son, who has struggled with having a desire to read, had FUN reading blend practice cards!  Dude that's some grace from Jesus for my day!  Rolling out tortillas, cleaning the juicer, running to the Post Office, each thing I did today seemed to have a sparkle of Jesus!  Nothing seemed like a small thing and I could just feel His presence with me as I went through my day.  Christian's schedule is a little hectic these next two weeks, but God is making it so sweet.  No one is there to notice that I made my bed today, but Jesus noticed.  And He is happy that I am doing what He has put before me.  It may not seem big to anyone else (not even ME) but nothing is small to Jesus and I am just so thankful that He is cool like that!

Tonight we are eating soup while we play Angry Birds and I am just totally enjoying that He sees the things that I may see as small...but really they are the BIG things after all.

P.S. Don't you love her Angry Birds game face!?  She does that when she's really concentrating...Gosh these little people are so much FUN!

Why in the world are we doing church like we do church?

Well, things in Denver are going well.  The kids have been well for a couple of weeks and it has been so so great to get to be a part of prayer nights and bible study and FELLOWSHIP again.  My spirit was just aching to be with everybody.  And my body was so glad to say goodbye to two rounds of the stomach flu, HA!

I've been thinking a LOT these last two weeks about prayer and worship...about why we do church the way we do church.  I had missed out on so much by being sick or having sick kiddos and it gave me time to think things through.  I am glad for the time.  I don't really have many answers for anything but it feels good to be challenged to figure it all out.

We know that being here in Denver has been the craziest thing we've ever done.  We have not only had to rely on Him in ways beyond what we imagined in the practical realm but also, being removed from all that we know of what church is, how we do church, WHY we do church, has allowed us to seek His face for answers we may never have asked for otherwise.  It's been so sweet.

Prayer.  Wow, we have been challenged in this.  We have always known that prayer is important.  Prayer before a service, check.  Prayer when we read our Bible, check.  Prayer before we eat, double check (the kids always add to our prayers ha!)  But seriously, we did know to pray.  But I don't think we have ever before understood the power that is fueled by hanging out with Jesus and just trying to seek His face.  I mean, I'm not saying we've never prayed fervently before, but I don't think we have consistently fervently prayed the way we have been challenged to now.  Then again, even daily needs are daily prayers so that helps.  but no I mean specifically FOR THE CHURCH.  Yes we prayed that God would show up and do a work...and then after ten minutes we got up TO DO stuff.  Now I am not saying that the stuff doesn't need to get done (it does) but I dont want to have any more Mark 9 moments.  Jesus says this kind only comes out by prayer and fasting.  This kind of demon?  Or this kind of faith?  Or both?  Or maybe even MORE than we can imagine, more than the demon being cast out, more than we could think to ask.  The disciples were always falling asleep praying!  That's so me.  Maybe not actual sleep, but I have spent far too many prayer times sleepy in my spirit.  my mind wandering. And do you know what I have found out?  It's okay to have a prayer life that involves effort.  Jesus is teaching me to not give up just because my grocery list or worries for my family creep into my prayer times.  Press in!  Find His heart!!!!  Like a good Daddy, He wears His heart on His sleeve.  All we have to do is ask.  Saturday nights have been just the sweetest ever times in worship and prayer that I have ever spent in any group setting ever before. We pray for vision.  We pray for direction. We pray for the sweet people Jesus has brought to fellowship with us.  And Jesus is moving. Tangibly moving.  Man!  It's exciting! We pray for Denver as a whole.  We pray for Boulder, that God would do a work there too. We pray for all the surrounding churches....and guess what?!  We are seeing Him move in those churches! (funny how I forget that He will actually answer prayer!)  We are seeing hearts stirred for revival and it is so incredibly exciting!!!  At some point every week someone always asks, Lord show us what to pray.  Even that has been answered.  I have been so amped!!!!  We are excited to press in.  To pray for the hearts of people in Bible study, during worship, during the rest of life that should be an act of worship too.  Good times are happening on Saturday nights.

Worship.  Oh man, we all feel this stirring.  Worship is this beautiful thing that we so many times make into this buffer that allows us to go to the bathroom and grab more coffee before we get to the real stuff.  Now I wouldn't have ever said it like that, but it is what so many of us make it into if we arent on guard. And thats the point.  We have to be on guard.  This isn't going to just happen!  True heartfelt worship demands that we battle for it.  It is done bought and paid for in the positional sense of things, but we need to battle in prayer for the hearts of the people and ourselves too.  Musical praise and worship is pleasing to God, therefore satan hates it.  Of course he is going to work to demean it and make it seem small.  Do it if you feel like it, or if you like the song, or if you like the style of worship.  NO WAY!!!!  I am so excited to spit in his eye by singing out no matter how I feel, no matter how silly it will look if I let loose and let the Spirit move.  If you watch me in worship you'll notice I'm a sway-er (dude if you only knew how much I actually want to move and dance!) you might notice me crying or lifting my hands or sitting down with my face covered in my hair...believe me Ive had people comment on my weirdness.  But dude, this is the God of the universe I am singing to here!  He is worthy!!!!!!!  So I am going to let go, and I am not apologizing for it.  I depserately desire to be part of a church that is free to worship in Spirit and in Truth.  and since were starting from scratch here, we are praying that that is what happens for the hearts that enter into our junior high cafeteria for church on a Sunday.  We are praying that people would be free to worship jesus, to celebrate Him, to draw close to His heart and give Him a "hug."  Worship is our preparation, its our response, its our celebration!  I know Jesus is teaching us stuff and I am only standing on the shore at this point.  I cant wait to dive in and know more about what it really means to worship Him.  I have just started listening to a series that Dominic Balli from Reality taught and it is rocking us.  Click here to check it out.  And I'll keep you posted as the Lord does more cool stuff in this area.

The Word.  Other wise known as the Bible study or the message or the sermon.  So why do we do this?  The Bible calls God's house a house of prayer.  and we see over and over in Scripture the people of God coming together to praise His name and bring Him glory through worship.  Cool beans.  So why do we have a big old hunk of a Bible study plopped in the middle?  The journey for this answer is like so many others.  At first glance all I can say is, well, because. (How very mommy of me huh:)) I mean we always have and hey its God's word...duh.  But, like so many of the answers we have sought on this journey, the answer isn't to stop what we are doing but instead to really know Gods heart and then keep doing what we are doing.  And there IS a purpose for what we are doing.  We DO need an emphasis on the word.  Not because we just always have but because there is precedence in the Word for it (Jesus was constantly gathering people and teaching them His truths!) but also because there is a distinct purpose. First of all, faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of God.  And dude I need more faith! But also, as we dive into God's word we see more of Him, more of His character and nature.  And the less likely we will be to listen to the lies of the enemy, that He doesn't care, that our petty problems annoy Him or that He is through with us.  As we read His word we become accustomed to His voice and we see that He is a sweet merciful loving JUST righteous HOLY forgiving awesome God and it changes the way we walk.  When I am careless with the word of God, it affects the way I see Him which in turn affects the way I trust Him.  It's like my crazy awesome hubs.  He rocks the house!  Really, like a lot.  He is working his cute tooshy off to honor God's call to come to Denver and be faithful in this auto glass job and trying to make this new opportunity with My Green Home work so we can pay the bills with a little more regularity and still pour his heart into the people of Denver while he's at it.  We run in different directions some days and I don't always get to connect with him.  I really hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.  I am super blessed during this season and God has been so sweet through all of this so please don't take it that way.  It's just that this is such a great picture.  There are days that I barely see him and sometimes the being apart can affect the way I see him.  I can forget his loving caring nature if I am not INTENTIONAL about bringing it to remembrance.  Now its not that I start to think negative things about him.  I'm not being super dumb and thinking he doesn't love me or he would rather be gone.  It's just that I forget quite how blue his eyes are or how sweetly he looks at me while Im unloading the days worth of kid antics on him.  Im not sure if this is making sense.  here's the parallel....if I am not intentional about bringing to remembrance Christians love for me, I can begin to see him in a passive nature. He is great, but he is over "there," not involved.  But dude!  No matter how our days go crazy opposite directions, he never loves me less or thinks of me less or is less invested in who I am as a person.  The same is true of Jesus, but in an even more full way.  If we aren't intentional about being reminded of who He is and how He rolls, we will begin to see Him as passive, not involved, not that interested.  And then it's an easy step sideways over into living like heaven isn't real and Jesus doesn't want to be a part of everything.  Man that slide comes up fast.  So why do we get in the word every wednesday and Sunday???  Because it is there that we get to know the character, the face, the heart of this sweet King Jesus that loves us so intimately.

So that's been my journey these last few weeks.  I am so amped to be totally wrapped up in his arms!

Oh we also found this crazy cool park right next to our house this week.

I am foreseeing some awesome playtime at this park during the spring...if we can just make it past tomorrows BLIZZARD, I think we can safely say Spring is close by :)